Darkness
by turtle76
Summary: Dean goes through a dark path, after a tragic event that happened in his life.


**Um, this story turned out to be very dark. I mean, it's not as detailed as I could have been, but it's still good. I think. Um, well read. But warning, it is sad. **

Dean was sitting on his laptop, headphones in, music blaring, drowning out the entire world. He didn't know what else to do but sulk in quiet and write about it. He wasn't known for writing, but he figured it was easier to just write than be able to explain the pain he felt in his chest. Dean typed away on his laptop for hours waiting for the pain in his chest to lighten, but nothing liked that ever happened. "Fuck." He mumbled to himself as he unplugged his headphones and let his music fill up his darkened room. He lay back on the bed looking up at the ceiling sighing deeply. "Why won't this pain just lighten?" He asked into the darkness of his room. Dean closes his eyes finally allowing the tears to fall down his cheek when a light knock came on the door. Dean shoots up quickly pushing at his eyes to stop the tears that almost fell. "What?" He asked his voice cracking. He mentally punches himself for being stupid and letting his guard down.

"Dean, we need to talk. You have been locked in your room for days. You haven't eaten, or drinking and I don't even what to know where you have been going bathroom." His younger brother Sam said from the other side of the door.

Dean groaned, of course it would be his kid little brother coming for him. Not his supposed father. Oh wait, his father was in jail. "Go away, Sammy." Dean spat more angrily than he meant.

"Dean, I'm not leaving. Not this time. We need to talk, and I will break down this door if I have to."

"Sam, there is nothing to talk about." Dean said rolling onto his side. "I'm fine, just leave me alone."

Sam placed his head in his hands sighing. "Okay, Dean. But just know I'm here for you." Sam said as he turned and walked away from the door.

Dean listened to the footsteps down the hall until he heard Sam door open and close. Dean reached under his bed pulling up a stuffed vampire bat pulling it to his chest and finally let the tears spill that he's been so desperately holding in for days. "I miss you." He whispered as he let darkness claim him into sleep.

"Cas!" Dean screamed into his darkened room. Dean took a minute to adjust before sitting up placing his back against the wall sighing still clutching onto the stuffed vampire bat. "Cas?" He asked into the darkness.

A pounding noise came to the door. "Dean, open the door." Sam's voice came through the door.

Dean having tears falling down his face, turned his head to the door. "Sam, I said leave me alone." Dean choked not caring about how broken he knew his voice sounded. "I just want to be alone."

Sam sighed. "I'm sorry, Dean." Sam said as he kicked down the door. Sam stopped in his tracks the moment he saw his brother red eyed, greasy hair, tear stained cheeks and sickly pale. "Dean?" His voice broke as he moved towards him.

Dean hissed the moment the hall light lit up his room. "Sam, I said go away. I don't want your fucking sympathy!" Dean yelled pulling his blanket over his head as his younger brother neared him. "Just get the fuck out of here, now."

Sam didn't even care what his brother was saying, he just walking up to him, yanking the blankets off his older brother. "Dean, you can't just stay in here. Come on, let's get you all cleaned up, and I'll make you a bacon cheeseburger with extra onions, just like you like, remember?" Sam said sitting on the side of the bed placing a comforting hand on his brothers calf.

Dean glared at Sam. Growling as he yanked his foot back. "Don't fucking touch me!" He yelled falling into the fetal position hugging the bat to his chest. "Sam, just leave me alone. I don't want to be bothered."

Sam didn't budge. He wouldn't leave his brother now that he knew how unhealthy and close to death his brother looked. "Dean, I'm not leaving you. I won't, I won't leave you like this. I love you, you are my brother. We're family, and we are all we have." Sam said with a stern tone to his voice, to show his brother he isn't playing any games.

Dean lifted his head to look at Sam. "Please?" He asked in barley a whisper before burying his head back into the pillow.

Sam didn't push any farther seeing his brother that broken, but he also didn't leave. Sam just looked forward and it was than when he noticed all the writing and blood on the walls of his room. _I love you. I'm so sorry this happened. Castiel come back. You aren't gone. Cas. I need you. Marry me? _Were scribbled all over his walls, some in sharpies Sam guesses and some in blood. It was the ones in blood that made Sam turn his eyes back on his brother, and it was than he noticed all the cuts on his legs and arms. "Dean?" He asked very softly, it was than he noticed his brother shaking and tears falling down his face. Sams heart broke seeing his older brother who would always protect him be this broken and vulnerable. Sam didn't care the consiquinses, he didn't care what Dean did to him. He crawled behind his older brother and wrapped a protective arm around him and pulled him in tight. "Dean." He tried again as he held his brother tightly. "I know that what happened can never be taking back. It happened, there isn't much you can do about it." When Dean didn't make in effort to stop him he took that as a good sign. "Castiel is dead." Sam stopped as he felt Dean tense in his arms. "But, he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. He wouldn't want you to be this way. Dean please, for me and for Castiel, please come out of the room and let me help you." Sam said and sighed as he felt his brother relax against his chest. "Dean, please let me in." Sam beg as a tear fell down his cheek.

Dean sniffled and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, he broke down sobbing as he clung to the bat. He tried speaking again, but only a pained sob came out instead.

Sam felt his brother sobbing and decided to stroke his arm softly. "Shh Dean. It will all be okay, I promise." Sam said soothingly. "I love you." Sam said as he squeezed his brother a bit tighter.

They laid there for hours, Sam wrapped around Dean holding him tightly letting him sob. "Sammy?" Dean finally spoke turning in Sams arm to look at his younger brother's hazel eyes.

Sam looked down into his green eyes. "Yes?" He spoke softly a soft smile on his face.

"Thank you." Dean said as he snugged into his brother.

Sam kissed the top of his head lovingly, before pulling away gagging. "Dude, you stink. Let's go get you a bath, alright." Sam said as he started pulling himself from Dean. Sam stood up extending his hand towards his brother. When Dean didn't take his hand he let reached down grabbing his hand and pulling Dean up. "Come on, Dean. If not for you than do it for Castiel." At that Dean shot his head up and glared at his brother. "Come on." He dragged his brother out of his room, or more like dungeon and into the bathroom and started the water for him.

Dean kept glaring at Sam the walk to the bathroom and in the bathroom glared harder. "I'm not getting naked with you in here." He said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh, shut up Dean. You act like I haven't seen you naked before. I've walked in on you and Cas so many times, I still have nightmares." Sam said as he placed his hand under the running water and checking the tempter.

Dean let out a soft laugh that Sam would have missed if he wasn't paying attention. "Acting like you didn't like it." Dean smiled a very small smile, while taking off his shirt.

Sams eyes widened when he looked at Deans chest and saw all the scars on it. "Dean, what happened?" Sam asked taking a step towards his brother.

Dean looked down his eyes widened before covering his chest with shirt. "N-nothing." He stuttered taking a step back.

Sam wasn't having any of that BS. He stepped closer to his brother. "Dean who hit you?" Sam asked and when he saw the pain and horror in his brothers eyes, he took a step back eyes wide. "Dean, did dad do this to you?" Sam asked as he sat down on the side of the tub.

Dean didn't even speak just kept backing up into a wall. He looked down at the ground as he slide down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest hiding his face.

Sam kept looking at him. "Dean?" He asked as he got on his knees and crawled over to his brother. Sam shook his arm slightly and when Dean didn't answer, or even respond to the touch he started to panic. "Dean!" He said more frantic shaking a bit more. Dean groaned as his response trying to shimmy away from Sam. Sam let his head fall. "I didn't know he hit you." He lifted his brothers head in his hand and moved his arms to look more at the marks. "Some are new. Dean did he hit you before going to jail?" Sam asked, and got his answer when he looked into his brothers dead green eyes. The greenest eyes that were filled with joy and hope ever since he met Castiel, now all that was taking away because of a single douche. Sam hugged his brother before placing his arms underneath his folded legs and one behind his back picking him up and walking him over towards the bathtub. "I'm sorry, Dean." He whispered as he placed Dean on the bottom of the tub. He moved his brother around a little until he was out of his sweatpants and boxers and sitting naked on the tub floor.

After Sam washed his brother he helped him out of the tub and dried him off taking him back to Deans room to grab him some clean cloths. Dean looked around his room and a sigh escaped his lips. "Dad is going to be so pissed, Sammy." Dean said as he took a seat on the side of his bed placing his head in his hands.

Sam grabbed some boxers, pajama pants, and a t-shirt handing them to his brother sitting down next to him. "Dean, dad isn't coming back. He's in jail for life with no bail. And even if he gets out, I won't let him near you. If you want we can paint over all this, or you can move down to the spare bedroom down the hall next to mine." Sam said placing a hand on his brothers back and rubbing soft circles.

Dean looked up at him and a smile a weak smile before standing and getting dressed. He sat back down and went to crawl into the bed and go to sleep as Sam grabbed his arm making his stay seated.

"No Dean. I need you to eat for me." Sam said softly standing up and pulling Dean to his feet. "And plus, I have a surprise for you in the kitchen." Sam smiled softly as he dragged Dean out of his room and down the hallway, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Dean's eyes lit up a tiny bit as he saw a pie sitting dead center on the counter. "Sam, you always know how to make me happy." Dean said as he went to grab the pie.

Sam pulled him back. "Nope, not until you eat a cheeseburger." He looked Dean up and down. "Or twelve." He said as he grabbed all the ingredients he would need to make 3 cheeseburgers. "I'm going to make you two, now you don't have to eat them both." Sam started but was cut off by Dead.

"Can I make them? You suck at making them." Dean said as he shifted towards the stove.

Sam smiled and nodded backing away so Dean had room. The younger man took a seat on the counter and pulled his phone out and snapped a picture of Dean. It was than Dean noticed he still had that bat with him. Sam wondered why the bat was so important to him, but decided that he would tell him when he wanted to. Sam looked back down at the phone and sent the picture to Bobby with a quick message. _Finally got him out of that room, showered and now he is making us dinner. _He put his phone away as he eyed the bat sitting up and saw Dean talking to it. "Hey Dean what's up with the bat?" Sam asked folding his hands on top of the counter.

Dean tensed as he looked at the bat than back down to the patties on the stove. "Um, Cas bought me it." Dean said relaxing slightly at the fond memory. "It was when we went to the Zoo. I loved the bat habitat. How it was just so dark in there and I was watching the vampire bats drinking blood, which was really cool." Dean smiled turning to his brother leaning his back against the counter. "But these fucking douches came in and were bitchen about how dark is was in there, and shined a light on the vampire bats and disrupted them." Dean looked at Sam and laughed softly when he saw Sam roll his eyes. "Shut up Sammy." Dean said glaring but a smile tugging at his lips.

"I didn't say anything." Sam said raising his hands to surrender but smiling at his brother. _Maybe asking about the bat was a good thing after all._ Sam thought to himself.

"No but you are thinking it." Dean said laughing as he turned back to check on the patties. "But anyway, so these people were being douches so I spazzed and started yelling at them. And they were like oh fight me faggot and all this shit. And Cas, he saw the anger rise in my eyes and I lifted my fist to punch the dude in the fucking nose but Cas, he uh stopped me." Dean took a deep breath. "But, he punched the dude in the face. Just fucking punched him straight in the face. And it made me swell with pride to call him my boyfriend, so I took his hand and got down on my knee and I uh, um, asked him to uh, marry me." Dean said rubbing the back of his neck. "Right in front of the bats and all the bats started flying and I swear they were smiling and saying thank you for stopping the douche." A tear fell down Dean's cheek as he flipped the patties. "And before we left the Zoo, Cas he uh, bought me this little guy and we named him Clayton." Dean smiled to himself as he looked over at the bat.

Sams eyes widened. "Dean, why didn't you tell me you and Castiel were engaged?" Sam asked, it was right at the moment Dean froze with a patty in the spatula that Sam now knew. "Dean, I'm so sorry." Sam said getting up and heading to Dean wrapping his arms around his brother from behind holding him tightly. "I'm so sorry." Sam started crying into his brothers back. "I'm sorry."

Dean let out a laugh that had no humor behind it. "We came home, and dad was drunk. I mean that kind of drunk he was when mom died. Me and Cas quickly tore apart from each other and I told Cas to leave when I saw dad growl at him. But Cas wouldn't, no matter how much I begged." Dean dropped the pattie as he turned in his brothers arms and held him tightly sobbing. "He wouldn't fucking leave and I kept yelling at him as John walked over to him." Dean started shaking.

"Dean you don't have to tell me" Sam said quietly.

"I need to tell you, I need to tell you about John." Dean said looking up at his younger brother. "-John than got angrier as he kept walking towards him, I jumped in front of Cas when I saw John raise his hand. He stopped and pushed me into the bookshelf." Dean started shaking from the memory. Not even looking at Sam, just talking into his chest. "And um, I forced myself through the pain and made my way to Cas. But John, he um had his gun and Cas froze in fear. I saw the look Cas had, he looked more scared than I have ever seen him. John aimed it at his head, and um, he uh." Dean started shaking terribly causing Sam to shake with him. Dean started breathing fast. His breaths quickening by the second.

"Dean!" Sam said pulling his arm's length apart to look at him. "Dean, breathe!" Sam screamed causing Dean to look up at him. "You don't need to tell me. I already know, I can put to and to together. Just relax and breathe." Sam said as tears ran down his face.

"I told John not to shoot my fiancé, he looked at me, disgust in his eyes called me a faggot and shot Cas in the head." Dean said pushing away from Sam. "He fucking killed Cas, than fucking beat me. He stopped when he passed out from alcohol poisoning I guess. I called the cops and they came, they fucking took Cas in a body bag and John in handcuffs!" Dean screamed as he walked into the living room his breath catching in his throat.

Sam ran after him and tried to pull him away from the living room. "Dean." Sam tried but Dean raised a hand at him.

"My fiancé blood is on our carpet. My blood is on our carpet. Johns blood isn't." Dean turned towards Sam with rage filling his eyes. Dean pushed past Sam and headed towards the kitchen grabbing his bat and heading out the backdoor and into the Impala.

"Dean!" Sam yelled after him trying to stop him, but by the time he got out the backdoor the Impala was already driving down the dirt road. "Dean!" Sam yelled after the car but it was no luck Dean wasn't going to stop.

Dean blasted his speakers. He placed the bat on the dashboard and smiled at it. "Hey Clayton. Don't need to be sad anymore, we are going to go visit Cas. We will be with him shortly." Dean spoke as he pushed the gas pedal harder.

Dean was driving 100 down the highway being chased by a cop car. Dean took a sharp left and headed into the woods. He drove dodging trees and swerving. It was up ahead, the cliff where he and Castiel would sit for hours at night looking up the stars for hours. Dean pushed his car to the limit and drove towards the cliff. "I'm sorry Sammy." Dean whispered as his car flew off the cliff. He tilted forward doing a nose dive to the bottom where it exploded.

Sam was sitting at home with his phone in his lap waiting for a call, or his brother to get home. When his phone started ringing he didn't even look at the caller and answered it. "Dean?" Sam asked quickly.

"Um, No. Is this Sam Winchester?" The caller asked.

"Yes." Sam said sinking into the couch, his stomach dropping. "Who is this?"

"This is Sheriff Jody Mills. We needed to inform you that Dean Winchester is um, dead." The lady spoke softly. "I am sorry for your lost."

Sam sat in shock shaking his head, his brown hair flopping everywhere. "W-what?" He finially choked out after minuets of silence.

Sheriff cleared her throat. "He was in a car chase, and he drove himself off a cliff." Sheriff said her voice breaking a little. "I'm sorry."

Sam dropped the phone to the floor. "No. Dean. No, no, no, no, no." Sam said repeatedly looking around at all the blood that was spilt because of John Winchester.

FIN


End file.
